Recently a mother came into my office with her healthy ten-year old daughter crawling on all fours.

The girl hadn't been into the office before so she wasn't coming into an environment that she was familiar with or amongst company she knew.

Her mother was exasperated and whined at her to get up and act her age but she ignored her mother and continued to crawl as if she were a baby.

I stayed out of it. However when the girl crawled under one of the desks and was about to become entangled in computer wiring I thought it was time to intervene. Putting on my best authoritarian voice and I asked her to stand up and move away from the desk. Polite but firm was the approach.

She was on her feet in no time. She pushed the limits with her mum but she wasn't sure about this strange male so she wasn't taking any chances. She got the message that this was my territory and she needed to act according to my rules.

It always easier to manage kids behaviourally when they are not your own!

So how to help this mother who was clearly exasperated by her daughter's behaviour?

First, let's figure what the behaviour is about. The behaviour was attention-seeking and boy did it work! Her mum noticed her! My office manager noticed her! Everyone present focused their attention on her like laser-beams except me who just kept on working.

But this smart little girl even found a way to get me to take notice by crawling amongst the computers! Some things you just can't ignore.

The behaviour was also about power as she let her mother know that there was little she could do to stop her. &lsquoI&rsquoll crawl if I want, where I want&rsquo was the message she gave her mother by her refusal to stop.

So how to react to attention-seeking, you-can't-stop-me behaviours? Quite simply, change your reaction. Rather than give loads of B-grade attention to behaviours that don't warrant it minimise the attention that it gets.

Rather than whine at her daughter to get up this mother could have done a quick double-take and retreated to her car to get a forgotten purse or bag. My bet was that in her absence her daughter would have followed her or waited on two legs for her to return. Alternatively, as soon as her daughter refused to get up she could have politely excused herself and said she would be back later leaving her daughter to deal with the consequences of her behaviour.

Maybe her mother could have said nothing about her behaviour and left it up to the office owner to deal with. This is a difficult option, as most of us believe our children's behaviour reflects on us so we tend to intervene so that we look like responsible parents.